Martin Biron Finds Inner Peace

February 25th, the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, PA.

6:43 PM, during pre-game warmups. Martin Biron gazes longingly at the ice, contemplating his place in the universe. Antero Niittymaki is in net, taking shots from teammates. Biron is hunched over in front of the Flyers' bench.

MB (thinking to himself): Oh boy. Things have really gone south lately, eh Marty? What happened? Things were so good in Buffalo. They loved me. I loved them. It was one big lovey love fest. Was it fate that sent me here? Or is it some, higher force?

*sighs longingly for days gone by*

Mike Richards: What's wrong, Marty?

MB (continuing to focus on the ice below him): Nothing, nothing...

MR: You sure? You look kinda blue, eh.

MB: Yeah, I'm good... (Pauses)

MR: OK then, let's kick some butt tonight!

*Richards taps Biron's pads and skates away*

MB (continues not noticing Richards skate away): ...I'm just trying to determine why we've been placed on this tiny, blue and green ball in the middle of a universe the size of which our brains can't even comprehend. I mean, there's got to be more out there, you know Mikey? Mikey?

*sighs again, realizing Richards is gone*

MB: (talks incoherently to himself)

Scott Hartnell (to Jeff Carter): Marty's talking to himself again.

JC: Yeah, what is his deal?

SH: I think he's taking all the criticism and trade talk pretty hard. That stuff can really mess a guy up, especially a goalie.

JC: Well, let's go talk to him. I hate to see a guy like this. (Begins to skate off)

SH (grabs JC and pulls him back): NO! This is not something you want to mess with. We've got to let him figure this out on his own.

JC: Huh?

SH: Let me explain. You remember Mike Dunham?

JC: Yeah, yeah. Of course.

SH: Well, my second year in the league the two of us were with the Predators. He had played great my rookie year, but the next season he was getting stiff comeptition for the starting job from Tomas Vokoun. Dunham started to look like what Marty looks like right now. I went over, tried to calm him down and talk things out and he went bezerk. We lost 10-2 that night. Dunham lost it completely after that. He was never the same goalie.

JC: What the... Well, why do they do this?

SH: I don't know exactly what it is. It's got something to do with the part of their brains growing up that makes them want to put themselves in front of 90 mph of flying rubber. The whole thing is really scientific and stuff.

*Biron snaps upright and stares straight at Hartnell and Carter*

JC: WHAT THE HECK?!?

SH: Easy, easy. Stay calm.

MB (yelling): THAT'S IT!! EUREKA!!!

Later that night, from the associated press:

PHILADELPHIA (AP)-Martin Biron's 25th career shutout meant more than reaching a personal milestone.

It gave him the edge in the Philadelphia Flyers' competition for the No. 1 goalie-for a game, at least.

Biron made 34 saves for his second shutout of the season, and Jeff Carter scored his 36th goal in the Flyers' 2-0 victory over the Los Angeles Kings on Wednesday night.