If there's been one story that everyone has beaten to death this summer, it's been Mats Sundin. No one is actually beating Mats to death, but talk of 'will he' or 'won't he' play this season and, if so, for whom has been all over the blogosphere. I don't think you can visit a hockey blog anymore without seeing his name mentioned. For those of you out there looking for something to quell your summer boredom, I've got a fun little game for you today. Sort of like Mad Libs, you can create your own Mats Sundin story by filling in the blanks below.

Don't be shy, give it a try! My shot at it is after the jump for your reading pleasure.

Today, Mats Sundin made a big decision regarding his future. His agent, (person), announced that Mats has signed a contract with (company/non-hockey team) to play professional (activity). The length of the deal is (number) years for (number) million dollars. In a statement released through his agent (agent's name from above), Mats did not comment on whether or not he would return to the NHL, but he did have the following to say about his newest endeavor.

"I'd like to thank the good people at (company from above)," Sundin said. "They have been very good to me and their (product/service) is clearly the best in their industry. I'm looking forward to using (product/service) a lot to (activity)."

It is still not clear at this time if Mats will return to the NHL this (length of time). He has reportedly set a deadline for (date) but even Mats admits that is not a hard deadline. To try and clear his head and think things through Mats has gone to (place) with (person) for (length of time). There he is (activity) and (another activity). The latter really helps Mats to (benefit of activity).

So there you have it, folks. Still no decision from Mats Sundin, but he is now a professional (activity from above). That crazy, Mats! You never know what he'll do next.

First, we were given a deadline of August 1st for Mats Sundin to make a decision ... nothing. Not that I mind that he takes his time to make up his mind on his playing future, but you wonder how long it takes him to choose a pair of socks in the morning.

Now? The Swedish troll won't even make up his mind until the start of the regular season, putting him behind the eight ball when and if he decides to sign.
While this puts the screws on the teams that hoped to sign him, it makes perfect sense for Sundin to keep waiting. Why not wait until it is clear which teams are contenders and which are pretenders? Why not keep healthy and mitigate the physical effects that a long season has on the human body? Then again, it appears that there is a far different reason for Sundin's dithering ... A new career as a Poker player (?).

Yes, it seems the gambling bug has bitten the Swedish Troll, and he's signed on to be the latest celebrity shill for PokerStars.

Playing online as "MatsSundin," the 37-year-old Olympic champion plans frequent appearances playing on PokerStars.net and at live tournaments on the PokerStars' global poker tour circuit. This includes the PokerStars European Poker Tour which starts its fifth season next week in Barcelona.

"MatsSundin"? Would you really think a guy called "MarioLemieux66" or "CarolAltsBoytoy" would be the real thing? How to tell the impostors from the real thing ... oh, my!

After two weeks of hard deliberating and consultation with family and friends, superstar Mats Sundin decided to have blueberry pancakes for breakfast. This comes as a shock to media and ex-teammates, who figured Sundin for a apple and cinnamon kinda guy. Raspberry remains heartbroken by the news (she should have seen it coming).

Yes, Sundin has yet to make a decision as to whether he'll play in the NHL next season, and has a few teams (Canucks, Leafs, Canadiens) waiting with bated breath as he considers their offers. O NOES!!!

There are far too many people, it seems, that think that Sundin, like every other free agent piece of meat, should have signed a contract at midnight on July 1st. OMGZ, How could Sundin possibly not pounce on the first big contract like a horny dog?

A few examples for your viewing pleasure ...

Sportsnet.ca, who calls Sundin's decision process 'dithering'. Nice. Apparently, making snap decisions is the only way to go.

Jim Kelley, douchebag exemplar, goes off on Sundin for putting a wrench in team's off-season plans. As if it is Mats' fault for GM's not having a Plan B?

Mike Consentino of Sports Full Circle compares this to a "Soap Opera", and says Sundin will look worse than Brett Favre. If this is a "Soap Opera", where are the lurid affairs, shower scenes, and evil twins?

Even our old buddy Greg Wyshynski is questioning Mats Sundin's heart, despite the fact that Sundin is one of the grittiest players in the entire league! WTF?

This doesn't count the 100's of forum posts I've read chastising Sundin for his careful consideration.

This whole Mats Sundin free agency charade is turning into one big game of Mats stringing along different teams until he finds just the one he wants. It's sort of like he's the only girl at the bar on Saturday night. He gets to choose whoever he damn well pleases -- if he chooses anyone at all.

So now Mats and his agent(s) have gone all Peter Forsberg on us. Yeah, I said it. You know how that kind of thing goes. Mats is playing. Unless he's not. Or maybe he's going back to Europe. Hell, for all we know at this point he might join the Peace Corps and head to [remote African nation or pacific island].

Earlier in the weekend a report from Sweden leaked that Mats was going to become a Canuck. Usually reports like these from a random newspaper in the player's home country can be pretty telling. This, apparently, is not one of those cases. Also apparent is that "Klar for Vancouver" means something to the effect of "Hey look! Breaking News! Mats Sundin to Vancouver!" in Swedish. I'm not really sure about the exact translation. But either way, it was not to be. At least not yet. Earlier today, Sundin's Swedish representative denied the rumors.

(Sidenote: Swedish representative... Wha? How rich do you have to be to have an agent AND a 'Swedish representative??')

Getting back to the point -- this is starting to become ridiculous. The Sundin Charade hasn't yet reached the epic level of Brett Favre's Will He or Won't He Routine but it's getting there. It's already a Code Forsberg and that's only a hop skip and a jump away from Brett. Mats, buddy. Do us all a big favor and figure this all out already because frankly, no one outside of Canada really cares where a 37-year old center who is good but is not going to change the direction of a franchise in a heartbeat is going to play next year.

UPDATE (12:27 AM): Alanah McGinley from Canucks and Beyond has an absolutely epic breakdown of how all this may have gone down. It's a great read. An excerpt, emphasis is hers:

Umicevic's contact in Russia told him that an unspecified KHL club was very interested in signing Sundin (which is certainly believable) and that Sundin's agent turned them down (also believable, sure) because he had already signed with Vancouver. (Ummm... say what?!?).

Every day from Monday to Saturday, The Ice Sheet will take a look at the biggest stories in the league that happened on the ice and elsewhere the night before.

It's not often that the average hockey fan from a small prairie town gets a chance to make millions and shoot pucks on a NHL Ice Surface.

Well, Darwin Head of Prince Albert, Saskatchewan had that very chance during last night's Avs/Canucks tilt. Standing at center ice, with a stadium full of spectators and the legendary Bobby Orr watching, Head buried enough biscuits to win himself a cool seven figures.

Head scored 15 goals – the exact number needed – in 24 seconds into an open net from the far blue line at General Motors Place to win $1 million in a one-time payout.

"This is just unreal. I can't wait to have a huge party and celebrate with my family and friends back home in Prince Albert," said Head. "And it feels so great that my wife and I will be able to look after our kids' futures with this money."

I think Mr. Head could probably buy the entire town of Prince Albert and have enough change left over for a 2-4 of Molson Canadian.

Way to spoil the Trade Deadline party, baldy: Mats Sundin has decided not to waive his no-trade clause and will remain in Toronto for the rest of the season. TSN reports that Sundin and his agent J.P. Barry came to the decision on Sunday, and in a statement Sundin appeared a tad insulted that Toronto interim GM Cliff Fletcher and the Leafs had asked him to waive it in the first place:

"I have carefully considered the team's request that I waive my no-trade clause," Sundin said in a statement. "I have always believed I would finish my career as a Toronto Maple Leaf so the actual request was still a very difficult one for me to contemplate."

[...]

"I cannot leave my teammates and join another NHL Club at this time. I have never believed in the concept of a rental player. It is my belief that winning the Stanley Cup is the greatest thing you can achieve in hockey but for me, in order to appreciate it you have to have been part of the entire journey and that means October through June. I hope everyone will understand and respect my decision."

Sundin is a pending unrestricted free agent, and Fletcher told the Canadian Press that the forward is "not interested in entering into a deal for next year" at this time. Should the Leafs even welcome him back? Sundin has placed his own personal comfort ahead of self-sacrifice for the franchise he so dearly adores. The asking price was only going to rise as Tuesday's deadline grew near; there's no telling what improvements to next year's Leafs their captain just pissed away because of his nihilism toward the "concept of a rental player." Ice Junkies believes this decision is the epitome of class; I couldn't disagree more.

Every day from Monday to Saturday, The Ice Sheet will take a look at the biggest stories in the league that happened on the ice and elsewhere the night before.

Once in a while, the depth of hockey's historic traditional winks through a box score or a game summary, providing the kind of century-old context that only Major League Baseball rivals. So here's the magnitude of Montreal's 6-5 shootout victory last night against the Rangers: It was the first time in 99 years the Canadiens had ever rallied from a 5-0 deficit, and it was the first time in the Blueshirts' history in which they'd lost a game that they led by five goals.

This is the sort of game that gets highlighted on a Stanley Cup champion's commemorative DVD. The kind of effort that rockets Alexei Kovalev's name into the Hart Trophy mix, with two of the Canadiens' three third-period goals, including a falling-to-the-ice game-tying tally on the power play. But most importantly -- at least for this cynic -- is that it's another example that the NHL's current standings system is an absolute disgrace. The New York Rangers blew a five-goal lead in regulation and lost in a skills competition; and yet that was meritorious enough to earn a point in the standings?

(Coming Up Next: Last Night's Losers, Trade Deadline Scuttlebutt, Why Vancouver Canuckleheads Are Fan-tastic, Why Jarome Iginla Is Such a Little Girl, Tonight's Must-See Games and a Heavyweight Brawl From Last Night.)

Every day from Monday to Saturday, The Ice Sheet will take a look at the biggest stories in the league that happened on the ice and elsewhere the night before. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Photos enclosed, do not bend.

With the standings packed tighter than ever this year, there are plenty of teams stuck in a twilight zone when it comes to planning for the February 26 traded deadline. With relatively few exceptions -- like Los Angeles -- most of the 30 teams in the league are still mathematically have a chance to make to to the postseason.

And with so many teams just on the edge of playoff contention, one wonders if more GMs might play this deadline a bit closer to the sleeve than usual in a year where the prize this year looks to be Mats Sundin.

Over at the Globe and Mail, Eric Duhatschek is taking a look at just the sort of price teams pay for hanging on that precipice when it comes to drafting the top talents in the game:

The one thing that Leaf Nation has learned to their chagrin over the past two years is the curse of the ninth-place finish - that capacity to fall just short of the playoffs, thus missing out on a chance for a first-round, but not cashing in on a blue-chip prospect at the draft table.

How important is that ability to draft first overall, but especially in the top three? Significant, if you base it on this year's scoring race. As of Friday, five of the NHL's top-10 scorers were players chosen first overall in their respective entry drafts (that'd be Alex Ovechkin, Vincent Lecavalier, Ilya Kovalchuk, Sidney Crosby and Joe Thornton) - and a sixth, Jason Spezza went second overall behind Kovalchuk.

Every day from Monday to Saturday, The Ice Sheet will take a look at the biggest stories in the league that happened on the ice and elsewhere the night before.

Not a day goes by without another silly rumor coming from the dark depths of the Toronto sports media.

Normally, I don't give two shakes of a lamb's tail about what comes out of the orifices of the mainstream mediots in that section of Canada, but TSN.ca's Darren Dreger takes the cake with this nutso conspiracy theory. Put on the tin-foil hates and lock the bomb shelter.

Theory: The Leafs are 'tanking' games to get a better draft position.

I won't call it "tanking," but some have.

A 3-2 loss to the St Louis Blues on home ice doesn't provide evidence of that, but if you scratch beneath the surface of the loss, there's a case to be made.

Jiri Tlusty's promotion to Toronto's top-line seemed a tad peculiar despite injuries to Alexei Ponikarovsky and Alex Steen. With 1 goal, 3 assists and a plus\minus of -9 in his last 27 games, did the 19 year old, who has struggled to earn a regular shift, all of sudden win over his head coach?

He won't call it tanking, and admits that one game doesn't provide proof, but he devotes an entire article to the subject. Uh-huh.

The emotional swings of the Toronto hockey media make the tabloid journalists in New York seem like meticulous scholars by comparison. Mats Sundin scores the game-winner in a 3-2 victory over the Capitals, and all of a sudden those weeks of speculation regarding the proper way to blow up and reassemble the Leafs are a distant memory: He's made his case for staying in Toronto.

(That article, by the way, contains this priceless line coming from a Canadian journalist: "When Fletcher peered down from his perch in the Leafs' management suite at the Air Canada Centre, he could only dream that the blue-and-white one day will be as talent-rich as the visiting Capitals." Raise your hand if you ever thought you'd read that?)

Of course, one goal shouldn't change a damn thing: As our own Jes Golbez explained recently, Sundin has the go. And then, of course, come right back.